If he didn’t meet my qualifications enough to that end, I would remain friends but never make any more physical contact than a hug here or there.” Before Kate and Luke married, they said, “We got into the habit of giving each other a brief hug coming and going sometime during the first year of dating.
It was good to acknowledge the way we cared for each other with something warmer than a ‘Hi.’ “It felt a bit stiff to us both as we grew to care for each other more, but anytime you are holding back feelings for the right time, things can feel awkward.
To help you establish godly standards, consider the following advice given by a panel of young American Christians between the ages of 20 and 30. While the names are changed to preserve each person’s identity, the comments are genuine. is “ if you plan to marry him or her, when you both feel like the other is the right one for you.” Continuing, she said, “I wouldn’t hold hands with someone who I felt to be ‘just a date’ or someone I was mildly interested in, or even just plain had a crush on.
An important point to note in God’s instruction is that abstinence doesn’t have to be forever. Many of you reading this have already decided that you are going to wait to have sex until you are married. Unfortunately, many young people have engaged in these forms of physical contact and then lost their virginity because their emotions overwhelmed their sense of judgment. ” The time to make decisions about physical contact is before you get in a touchy situation.
Making a decision on the fly with no forethought is a recipe for going too far.
It all starts with physical contact—touching, hugging and kissing. “One flesh” means to have sexual intercourse (1 Corinthians ) and, according to God’s instructions, this is to take place after a man and woman have been joined together in marriage. It does clearly say that we aren’t to have sex prior to marriage (1 Corinthians , New Revised Standard Version).
Having sex prior to marriage is immoral and, according to God’s Word, we are supposed to “flee sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians ). So we’re supposed to run away from premarital sex and things that could entice us to be immoral. Because abstinence has been described in such negative terms, some educators are now choosing to use the word postponement to describe the process of delaying sex until marriage. Human history shows that these “touchy” activities often lead to lustful desire and sex. Some have asked, “Just how far can a Christian go without sinning?
“We liked to sit close to each other, but it was not until a few months before we were engaged that we sat together with his arm around me.